Here's a few things to consider when getting back with your ex:
Why are you getting back together?
It's definitely worth considering why you want your ex back in your life. Do you miss them or do you just want to fill the void? If loneliness is driving you back to your ex's arms then you have to re-evaluate what you're doing. Being lonely is never a good reason for rekindling love. You can be just as lonely in the relationship when things are going wrong again.
Why do you think things will work the second time?
You broke up. It was messy, it was painful and it happened for a reason. So what's changed since then? Why are you two convinced that it's going to work this time when it didn't work last time? And do you really want to do things as you were doing before? Work out what went wrong, consider whether changes need to be made and remember that no person can absolutely change. Are you prepared to accept their flaws? And, more importantly, are you ready to compromise over them?
Do you both want the same things from this re-relationship?
Are you both in the same place over this rekindled romance, or is one of you more excited than the other? There's no doubt that this will leave one, or both of you, feeling the pressure. It's far better to approach being together again slowly but surely - maybe with a few dates here and there as opposed to moving back in together.
Is the trust still there?
Trust is the most important part of any relationship and, once it's gone, it takes a while to get it back.
Are you ready to accept blame?
Accepting blame - rather than pointing the finger of blame - is the best way to get a re-relationship off the ground. It's unlikely that a relationship falls apart for just one reason, so it's time to take off the rose-colored specs and look at the past with honest eyes. Focusing on the bad stuff that piled up between you both allows you to work on what went wrong - and ensure it doesn't happen again.
-Tan
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